How Do I Make 37 Better?

I just turned 37 this past weekend.

Honestly, I think I never thought about my life past kids. I had a plan to go through school, get married, get a graduate degree, and have kids. Now that I’ve accomplished all of that, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.

I want to make 37 good. I lived 36 in this weird state of not sure where I was. I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. I was set in my priorities for everyone else around me.

I don’t want 37 to be like that. I want it to be filled with things that I can make memories out of. I want to feel like I accomplished something big. I know it seems like a weird thing to want considering in the past year, I’ve been raising 2 kids, managing their schedules, managing a household, and starting a new business.

Part of what I’m feeling is that a lot of that isn’t for me personally. I want to feel good about myself which I definitely have not been lately. I need to do something for me.

So I’ve decided to start a “bucket list”. The next step is trying to figure out what I really want. My feelings have been so jumbled up that I have to wade through all of those feelings to really understand what will make me happy. I also want to be able to commit to something. I usually push back if the thing I want to do takes up too much time or energy. I give up and walk away. I don’t know if that shows lack of interest or lack of follow-through.

I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in a routine where I have a hard time finding what makes me happy. I want to be proactive and really jump in and take the chances I need to be taking.

If you have any bucket list suggestions, I would love to hear them. I’ve been having a hard time figuring this out and the only way I know to expand my thoughts is to hear what others are thinking.

Egos

We’re all just normal people, right? We live our every day lives and do our every day things. Until we have a big idea and do something that positively affects the lives of many around us.

The ego is an interesting thing. I’m not talking in the psychological sense. I’m talking in the sense of when people have a big ego. Trust me, it’s not hard to get when people admire or appreciate you for doing something. From what I’ve seen, it is more difficult to stay grounded when things really happen for you.

Granted, that whatever you accomplished probably took a lot of determination and hard work. The achievement was probably well-deserved. So what happens when you start developing an ego about it?

I know people who are some of the best at what they do and are completely grounded. I know people who have worked for where they are now and somehow believe that this allows them to treat others like they are less. So it goes both ways.

I think the thing to remember is that everything passes. If you’ve achieved something, that achievement will eventually be yesterday’s news. Everything moves forward, everything keeps growing and changing. How long can you sit on that one achievement and expect to be admired for it?

I see people my age who keep trying to keep the limelight on themselves. It’s almost like the only thing they are trying to do now is feed their own ego. It’s sad that they aren’t even considering the side effects of this need. When I say side effects, I mean the fact that I’ve seen these same people walk over, take advantage, and really disregard the feelings of others. People get hurt in the process and these egotistical people do not take any responsibility for it.

I do believe that what goes around comes around. I think that if you have an honest heart and mind, that will show itself back to you somehow. You will get the respect and admiration you deserve. So keep doing what to do and know that it will pay off in the end.