I Don’t Like Overly Enthusiastic People…

…especially if it’s not real. I feel you can tell if someone is totally BSing you. You can tell if someone responds to something and it just seems like they are saying what they think is expected of them.

It seems like, at some point, a message was sent to the world saying that if you like something, you must be overly enthusiastic about it. I don’t know if it’s just social media driven or in general. You must be “obsessed” with something or it has to be “amazing” or it is the “best” thing you ever saw.

Seriously?

Where did reality go?

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, a story is just a story. Sometimes, things are just “good”.

What is this image that people are trying to portray? Why do they feel like they have to 1) respond to everything and 2) absolutely love it? Doesn’t doing this diminish the value of what they are saying?

I’m not talking about kindness or positivity. I think those things are necessary to cultivate in real life. I think it’s possible for a person to be kind and/or positive without all the BS.

I’m just honestly talking about the over-the-top responses that things in this world receive sometimes. Sometimes, I have trouble believing what someone is saying just because their answers seem fake and just something that people want to hear.

In my opinion, real answers (or no comments if you aren’t going to say something kind) are better than fake. Otherwise, how can I trust what you’re saying?

If you can explain this to me, I’d love to hear.

A New Mom Reclaiming Her Life

We all talk about how you shouldn’t lose yourself when you get into a new relationship. We work so hard to maintain our individuality while merging into a relationship so that we¬†still feel independent but can enjoy the aspects of spending time with a partner as well.

Well, what happens when you have a baby? As a new mom, I found myself really losing who I was.

Even before I had the baby, I didn’t recognize myself. I define my self worth by what I do (and if I really do it well). I had been working for the last 8-9 years and I had been dancing for a really long time and finding peace and happiness in that. But, as soon as I was a few weeks pregnant, I left my job due to the distances I was driving and I wasn’t allowed to do any other physical activity other than walk due to doctor’s orders. It was really hard for me. I still did see my friends but a lot of the activities I used to do were limited.

After I had the baby, there was obviously the time I needed to heal and get used to having a baby around. So that’s all I was doing for the first few months. But it was hard. You give yourself so entirely to this little human being. All of a sudden, the only label you have is mom. All of the other things you were disappear. At least, that is how I felt.

I’ve never been able to function in a one dimensional sense. Even though I worked in one profession, I was involved in so many other activities that really helped my life be well-rounded. So this was really a difficult way for me to live. There are women who fit so easily into the mother role and make themselves so well-rounded within that role. I’ve seen moms who plan activity after activity for them and their babies and it sounds amazing. I wish I could do that. But, after a recent breakdown, I realize that it’s not me. I need certain things in my life for me to feel like myself. And feeling like myself is the best thing I could do for my child.

I felt guilty wanting to be back in the workforce or wanting time to myself. I still haven’t gotten up the courage to have a girls night out without my baby. I want her to be with me at all times. But I have taken steps to reclaim who I was. I joined a gym and get an hour workout in a day which has done wonders to my self-esteem. I am looking to find other moms to hang out with. I have a found a new dance class that I’m really excited about. I also have taken steps to see if I can find a job that fits a schedule that would allow me to be home for my child whenever I want.

As much as I really wish I could do the stay at home mom thing with great joy, I know it’s not me. I need to find the things that help me feel like me so that I can really show my baby my best self, the person that I’m proud of, the person I want her to be proud of.

Things Change

I haven’t written a blog post in over 10 months. There was a reason for that. In that time, I had my first child. Pregnancy is such an interesting time period in a woman’s life. There are those for whom it’s the most amazing time in their lives and there are those where it is the hardest 40 weeks they will go to. And then, there’s the stuff that no one ever tells you. I get it. In the end, you have this really cute baby that is a part of you and your significant other. You have now created a family. There’s so much you go through to get there and no one can fully prepare you for everything. I’d like to try to talk about it honestly. The good, the bad, and the ugly. My entries won’t just be about pregnancy but also the changes as a result and it will always continue to be about things in the world that I have opinions about. So I hope you enjoy the return of Who We Are Today.

One of the biggest things no one ever talks about is that you become a parent the second that positive sign comes up on a pregnancy test. Every little thing you do, you double check to see if it will affect the baby. I can’t tell you how many times I googled different types of food and drinks to make sure that it wouldn’t be bad for the baby. It’s crazy how many things you can’t eat or drink. It makes you wonder what our parents did without internet over 30 plus years ago. I also wonder if everyone is as paranoid as I was with what was happening as my baby developed or if I was just crazy. I sometimes forget the age of my baby based on when she was born. I consider her age to be that of when I found out I was pregnant. Once you become a parent, that’s it. There’s no going back.

Another¬†thing no one ever tells you is 40 weeks is a long, long time. If you count that there are 4 weeks in a month, it’s actually 10 months. If you count there are more than 4 weeks in a month, it’s actually somewhere between 9 and 10 months. Trust me, when you’re throwing up every day or your legs hurt or you’re just craving sushi, it’s a long time. You just have to get through it.

I had to keep reminding myself that a lot of women go through all of this every day. It doesn’t feel like that though. It feels like you’re the only one in the world and no one can understand it.

Pregnancy is definitely an interesting phase of life. The one thing you always hear women say, though, is no matter how tough it was, it was definitely worth it.