My sisters gave me this book on self-exploration for my birthday this year. I opened it and started looking at the types of questions that were being asked.
The first question was to list 5 things that immediately bring a smile to your face. I could think of at least 2 things off of the top of my head (although the eternal debate of what I want to say versus what I should say definitely takes place). So this one, I think I can handle.
I turned the page and the next question was the to list 10 big dreams that haven’t come true yet.
It’s not like I have thought about it a lot. But the question brings up a lot of anxiety in me. How am I supposed to answer this? And it’s not 1 or 2 dreams. I probably could scrounge up 1 or 2. It’s 10! Maybe if I had read this book 10 years ago….
Sometimes, it feels like I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do. But I’m not that old. So it can’t be it. Can it?
I know there are places I haven’t seen yet and things I want to do with my kid. There are things I want my kid to accomplish and I can see her life clearly.
But my life has gone fuzzy. I am thankful for everything I have. I am definitely content where I am. It worries me though that it doesn’t feel like I have anything to strive for (other than obviously being mother of the year). I am a big believer in doing things for yourself even when you are a mom.
So where did all of my ambition go? What are my big dreams now? How do I even start to figure it out?