Being Creative

Almost every Indian can tell you that when you were growing up, you were encouraged to find a career in something stable. The idea was that if you were a doctor, engineer, or accountant, you wouldn’t have to struggle in your life. You were set and financially stable. It makes sense for that message to be passed down. A lot of our parents left their homes to find that stable, successful career. They gave up a lot to make sure their children wouldn’t ever feel like they couldn’t have everything.

But what about that creative side of us? What about those of us who are writers, dancers, artists, and musicians? Do we lock that side of us away?

And what about our souls? If all we do is focus on our left brain jobs, then what happens to our right brain?

I once had a job interview for an accounting position with a company. When I was offered the opportunity to ask the interviewer (who would have been my boss) questions, I asked her what she likes to do in her spare time. I asked her if she had any activities that she was passionate about outside of work. She actually said that she just did accounting and nothing else. Seriously??? I knew right then and there that this wasn’t the place for me. My previous boss supported my passion for dance and the show that we organized. She knew how much it meant to me and that it was good for me emotionally and mentally. Would this new boss have supported this part of me?

I’ve found that if I ignore my creative side for a little bit, it does affect me. There’s a happiness, a positive energy that comes out when I do use my creativity. I need it to balance out the rational, logical side of me. I do thrive on schedules and lists but I need the free-flowing side to make me whole. I’ve found that to be a consistent trait in the people I know. They have their stable jobs and then they are creative on the side. They get the best of both worlds.

What about you? What is your creative outlet?

Halloween: Frumpy or Sexy?

Simran: I saw a great post on Reddit today on the evolution of women & halloween.

Halloween is coming and we are shopping for costumes for our baby’s first halloween. It has to be CUTE! A tootsie roll, a puppy, a little monster, a cute bunny… AHHH! So much cuteness, I can’t take it! But there are hardly any good options for my wife to complement her cuteness. Majority of the things out there are short skirts and skin-tight dresses. We are looking to make our little one Snow White. Come on, let’s hear it… “awwww”. So my wife thought she would be the evil queen. Enter the evil queen costume hunt:

halloweenEvilQueenCostumes

 

I think the safest thing is the apple she’s holding.

Yeah there is stuff out there that is a little more conservative but enter psychological price manipulation:

halloweenCosutmePrices

Sexy is cheaper!

As our little girl gets older her options turn into shorter and tighter fitting costumes. They go from “aww what a cute little girl” to “dayummm girl”.

That’s it! My little girl is wearing knee high funky socks that don’t match and skirts that go up to these knees. I rather be weird and funky than an objectified.

SofiaVargaraAt theEmmys.

Shailee: When we got our daughter a Snow White costume, my first thought was that I’d be the Evil Queen from the movie. She is pretty cool with all that magic she can do down in her basement. So I googled “Snow White Evil Queen” to find outfits. My two options are something that is completely revealing or something that is huge and frumpy. We are planning on taking my kid around the neighborhood trick or treating. I honestly don’t want to wear something that makes me feel like I’m not even a woman anymore. We are also having super hot weather over here and wearing something that big would guarantee I come home as one big sweat stain. And I never wore costumes that sexy prior to having a baby so wearing them now isn’t even an option. Besides, I just don’t think it’s appropriate to go around the neighborhood where a bunch of kids are trick or treating wearing something that barely belongs in a club.

So I’ll turn to my third option: making the outfit myself. That’s the only way I can get something middle-of-the-road that I’d feel comfortable wearing. It’ll take some work but I’ll feel better in that than either of the options I can buy ready-made from a store. I’ve had to do this before as well. A few years ago, a few of my friends and I decided to be Batman villains and I chose Poison Ivy. I made a green dress, attached leaves to it, and had green leaves and vines drawn on my body where there was some skin showing. I was comfortable.

I’ve always appreciated the costumes that are innovative and unique more than something that just shows skin (of course, I’m not a guy so maybe I’m the wrong person to ask). One year, I saw a guy wearing the Quail Man costume. It’s still one of my favorite costumes that I have ever seen.

As long as I’ve known, Halloween has been an excuse for women to wear extremely sexy costumes (let’s be honest, most don’t buy the big, frumpy ones). Why is that? Why do we use it as an excuse to wear less than we would on a daily basis? Is it insecurity? Do we need to feel like we need to show skin in order to compete with the others dressed sexy when we go out partying for Halloween? Are the women in the sexy costumes the only people who get attention?

I want to set a good example for my daughter that you don’t have to wear a sexy Halloween costume to get attention. You can get the same attention by using your imagination and creativity.A couple of years ago, my husband made a Wall-E costume from scratch. Last year, he made us a coffee mug and donut costume. We received plenty of attention because both costumes were so unique. My hope is that she gets into Halloween every year and really has fun coming up with creative ideas. My hope is that she has enough confidence to know that she doesn’t need to show a ton of skin in order to feel good about herself.