Positive Gossip

We were catching up with some family over the weekend. One of the topics that came up during this time was about some other relatives and how they have to do some extra work to fix something that they were having trouble with. Later, my husband and I were discussing this between us and he asked me if it seemed like some people have more bad luck than others.

Here’s my question: Maybe they did run into some issues but they have also had a lot of good luck. Those people have been doing good and seem to be happy most of the time. So why is it that we get stuck discussing negative things that happen to others? Why does it feel like only bad things happen to them?

Plenty of good things have happened for these relatives. But we did not discuss those things. We focused on the bad things that happened.

That’s because when we talk about others, we tend to look at the negative things. How many times do we bring someone else up in conversation in order to just say what hasn’t happened for them or what bad thing did happen to them? How many times do we talk about how someone has gained weight (in a bad way) or didn’t do something the way we would do it so it’s can’t be as good?

So why is this? Is it because it makes us feel better to put someone down? Is it because we can look at our own life in a more positive way because we aren’t having the same problem they are? Does it make us better human beings because things are going smoother?

Which of us haven’t run into problems? I know there was a time when I had to deal with getting my epilepsy under control. There was a time when I had to get over 2 really bad relationships in a row. There was a time when I had to deal with being unemployed for months after I had gotten my MBA.

Here’s the thing: For every negative thing that happened, there was definitely a positive. I learned things, I gained things, I moved forward.

So I hope that, if people did talk about me, it wasn’t to feel sorry for me but to realize that I did have positive things happening even, if at the moment, it didn’t seem like it.

I know it’s not realistic to not talk about other people. We all do it. If we are going to do it though, let’s try to make it more positive.

Why It’s Time To Take A Facebook Break

Yesterday, I wrote a post where I was wondering who I am.

Today, I realized the best course of action would be to take a break from Facebook.

I love Facebook for so many reasons, the main one being that I can keep in touch with my friends and family from all over the world. It allows me to be a part of everyone’s lives even when I’m not able to see or talk to those people regularly. I also get to be a part of so many different groups and have been able to make friends via social media throughout the world.

But, on the flip side, it’s not real. We only see what people want us to see. It’s not a bad thing to be able to celebrate the good times and experiences that others have until things aren’t always where you want them to be in your life. Then, you end up focusing on what you imagine to be their perfect lives to be like and how imperfect your own life is.

You forget to see the good happening in your own life. You forget that the lives of others aren’t perfect either. And when social media becomes a negative instead of a positive aspect of your life, it might be time to step away from it. It might be time to put Facebook, Instagram, Twitter in the corner while you figure out what is important to you and your life.

This is where I’m at right now. I want to be able to focus on me again. I want to focus on my family. I don’t want to sit and obsess about the lives of other people and how it seems so much more exciting than mine.

This isn’t the first Facebook break I’ve taken. I had to do this in 2012 when I felt like a part of my life was just not moving in the direction I wanted it to go. It helped me tremendously. It felt great to refocus my energy off of social media and back onto myself and the people I love. I was able to shift my mind towards the things I wanted to accomplish instead of just feeling bad when others accomplished something. I was able to be happy for my friends when good things happened to them instead of just jealous that they weren’t happening to me.

So, in my efforts to shift my energy in a direction that I can be proud of, I have decided to take a break from Facebook.

 

When There is Only 1 Person in a Couple

I’ve noticed something that keeps occurring over and over again and I wanted to bring it up. I don’t think it’s just me who has noticed it because I’ve heard comments about it coming from others. 

Have you ever noticed that sometimes there is only 1 person in a couple when they are in public? I honestly have no idea about any couple’s private life so I don’t want to assume anything. I was just wondering when a couple goes out, all you see is one person whom the focus completely seems to be on. 

I think the times that this really seems obvious to most people who have mentioned this to me are at weddings. You see the bride and groom separated for most of the night. You would think that out of all the days in time, this would be the one day to be with your new spouse. But then again, this would refer back to one of my previous posts about some people being more interested in the wedding than the marriage. 

Why is this? Why is it that we seem to forget that the other person exists when it comes to being out with others. I understand that we spend a lot of time with our significant others and so when there are other people, we want to socialize with them. But why does it seem that it’s to the point where you don’t even see the couple interact at all? 

I honestly can’t make a judgment on this because I think, in order to make a fair assessment, you would have to know the couple’s dynamics and really know why and how they function. Maybe it’s a completely functional and good relationship and this is just how they work when they go out. 

It is curious to me though. So, if anyone has an explanation, I’d love to hear it.