Is It Really Just “Teasing”?

I watched a couple interact a few days ago. There was a lot of “teasing” or as I’d like to call it “putting each other down”. Whenever they spoke to each other or about each other, it had to do with correcting each other or mentioning what they other person didn’t know. They seemed comfortable doing that as well. It made me wonder if that’s just how they communicated. It also made me wonder if that’s how they spoke to each other in private or if this was the case all the time.

I feel like I used to be like that at least in public. I didn’t know how to interact with someone I was in a relationship with. It was like, if I was nice to the person in public, I put myself in a vulnerable position. If I put my significant other down, it made me the stronger, more dominant person. Honestly, I don’t know exactly why I did it. But I do remember doing it.

After enough failed relationships, I learned that being vulnerable isn’t the worst thing in the world. People are built a lot stronger than we think. It’s hard if the relationship doesn’t make it but with the right help and work and time, we will get past it.

It taught me that I’d rather be vulnerable but be nice to my significant other. Putting them down doesn’t make me a better person. Teasing them doesn’t make me a stronger person. If anything, the opposite is true. Being good to them makes me a better person. And if I treat them with respect, then I’m treated with respect as well.

So what is it about these types of relationships and communication? I’ve seen it enough. Is it a form of affection? I don’t feel like I’d be very happy if someone I trusted with everything constantly made fun of me.

If you’re in this type of relationship, could you let me know what the deal is?

Preconceived Notions

I met someone who married someone I knew and she moved to LA to be with her husband. I thought it was possible that I met a new friend. I invited her a few times to hang out and get to know some of my friends (who I’d like to think are pretty cool).

She wasn’t able to make it out any of those times which was fine. But then, I had a conversation with her that really upset me. She basically said that all people in LA are fake and there aren’t like the people where she was from.

First of all, I’d like to believe that not all people in LA are fake. Yes, I think there are a lot of fake people. I think there are a lot of people who try way too hard to impress others. But, I know for a fact that there are genuine, down-to-earth people who really care about others in LA as well.

It disturbed me that she took a bias and held it against the general public that makes up LA. I’m sure that people are different than where she was from. And I know that moving from one place to another, especially when you’re leaving your family and friends behind for the unknown is difficult. I really don’t like generalizations though. Especially negative generalizations. I wish that that girl had taken the time to get to know a few people before she assumed. It’s always possible that she just hadn’t met the people she would click with. LA is a big city. It takes time to figure out who you are in a place like this.

It basically goes back to the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. Don’t judge this city by its stereotype. There are those of us who aren’t fake. There are those of us who really try to be genuine and be honest with people.

Give it a chance. Otherwise, I’d say you will be surrounded by fake people for life.

My Perfect Facebook Life

How many of you go onto Facebook day after day and see everyone’s perfect life on there? Everyone is always happy and smiling and traveling and graduating and getting married and having kids. Can I just say that this drives me absolutely insane?

It doesn’t bother me that everyone is happy. It bothers me that it might not be completely the truth. ┬áIt’s some sort of weird vicious cycle. Why would people put their misery on a public forum? At the same time, come on, people’s lives aren’t that perfect. We all go through crap. If you look at my Facebook page, would you have ever imagined that I’ve probably been through some sort of hell over the last month? Maybe a little bit since I occasionally do throw out less than ideal posts. But not often.

Has anyone else had to take Facebook breaks? Am I the only person who works a regular 8 hours job with a crappy commute? I couldn’t stand seeing that no one else worked and just traveled to all of these exotic places all the time. Those people who do work had the best jobs that sent them on the most interesting travels as well. Yeah, you can say I get tired of it every so often. Maybe some of it is jealousy that my life doesn’t seem to look like that. I look at profiles and then I look at my profile and I try to figure out if my life looks as great as theirs.

So how do we reconcile this? I wouldn’t mind seeing some honesty. If something is wrong in this world, shout it. If you feel that something needs to change, voice that. I understand that we can’t say everything, that there needs to be some privacy, especially since a lot of us do use Facebook as a marketing tool and don’t want to announce everything to the outside world. At the same time, if we can share our personal wedding and baby pictures, why can’t we share a few honest thoughts every so often? I really would like to see a person, not an image.