Interest Myself In Me

I know Facebook skews people’s lives so that their seem more interesting than the day in, day out probably is in reality. I’m aware that everyone can’t possibly have a glamorous life where they travel all the time and achieve major accomplishments every other day. Everyone works on a daily basis in some capacity whether it’s a job or being a stay at home parent. I know as well as the next person there are ups and downs in everything.

So then why do I feel so boring? I know that this is a phase in my life where my focus isn’t on myself. I know that raising my kids is important. I know that even if it feels like nothing, getting through each day with them is a big deal.

Still, I wish I was doing something alongside raising my kids that was more interesting. Maybe it’s more that I need to feed my soul. As corny as that may sound, I need to keep myself more well-rounded to make me happy. It’s still work-life balance. It’s a little bit skewed to work right now since my kids are so young but I need to add more life back in so that I don’t feel one-sided.

I remember, before kids, if I ever felt boring, I would try to find something that made me interesting to myself. Granted, my time is a little more limited now but I want to maintain this practice. I want to feel like I can accomplish things. I want to be able to set goals and know what it feels like to achieve them. It might be harder now but I think it’s important for my own mental and emotional health to try.

What do you do to keep yourself interesting? What are your goals and passions?

Raising 2

I heard having 2 kids is a game changer. I used to think raising one was hard. It was tiring and exhausting and I couldn’t believe how hard it was.

Yeah, now I just keep thinking how much having 1 kid was much easier than 2.

Because 2 demand your attention at the same exact same time. There is rarely any alone time or quiet time. There is rarely time for you to be able to eat, let alone shower or do anything else. And when you finally have that minute alone, there is a to-do list about a mile long of other things you have to get done.

It’s a little overwhelming.

But then, your older child comes and hugs your baby before she goes to school. She gives him a kiss because he was crying. Or your baby starts crying in solidarity with his big sister.

That bond is enough to make you realize that everything you go through is worth it. It might not get easier but as long as everyone keeps smiling together, it will all be okay.

Where Will Our Traditions Go?

So here’s a question that has been on my mind for a while: who is going to perform the Hindu/Sikh/etc. weddings after all of the pandits (or corresponding religious leaders) in our area retire? The group I’ve grown up with has had this discussion before. Most of the people who perform weddings now have moved to America from India. And no one I know who is in my generation is practicing to become a pandit.

What happens to all of our cultural traditions in the future? Will there be someone who can help continue them?

I’ve been making sure that my parents and my husband’s parents talk to my kid in our respective languages so she learns that part of our culture. Unfortunately, it’s a second language for me as well and I tend to go to my first language when I speak to her. On occasion, when I do remember, I do speak to her in Gujarati. But it won’t be the way my parents spoke it to me. Language is still something easier to pass on than a few other aspects.

I grew up going to pujas, temples, parties that celebrated different festivals in India. When I got married, we had an event where our families and friends sang traditional songs in our respective languages. Will our generation be able to continue this? Who will be responsible so that our children learn all of this stuff? How do make sure that we don’t lose this part of us?

It’s a little bit scary. Is it okay that our traditions progress as the way we grow up changes? Did this happen to our parents or since they all were born in the same country, the traditions were able to be passed down much easier? I wonder if this really only affects us now because we are growing up here in America and raising our children here.

I want my child to know her cultures. I want her to be able to really understand where she comes from. I’m just not sure how I can make sure that happenĀ in the future.