Tag: yourself

When Someone Tries to Change You….

Leave a comment

Have you ever met someone who told you you were perfect? And then proceeded to tell you what you could be doing differently?

I’m going to be blunt. In my honest opinion, you should be able to wear your pajamas and your significant other should think you look great.

There are people who see personalities and people who just see looks.

For those of you who see personalities, have you ever noticed that someone becomes more beautiful or good-looking the more you like them and for those people who you don’t like, no matter how attractive they are, all you see are the flaws?

For those of you who see looks, I always wonder what will happen after the looks fade. I don’t think anyone gets uglier but we do all get older. Our priorities change. A woman has a child and might not have the same body she had before. So does that make her any less beautiful?

Being with someone that wants you to look perfect all the time is a lot of pressure. Unless you like looking like that all the time (but then, you’re doing it for yourself, not someone else). So what happens if you don’t look perfect? Will that person still be interested?

Be yourself. The right person will like you. If they start trying to change something about you at any point (and I’m not talking about the regular compromise that comes with relationship, I’m talking about compromising yourself for the relationship), then it’s a red flag. You have to be yourself first in order to be with someone who is right for you.

Oh NO, I’m caring!

Leave a comment

As I was writing today’s post, I realized that I needed to start a new one. The reason for that was that I was thinking too much about what if I offend someone or they don’t agree with me. So now, somehow, I am caring what people think about what I write. The purpose of this blog was to bring up issues and thoughts that most people won’t say out loud. I am not supposed to censor myself. But here I am, doing exactly that. So I decided to start over and to write about why should I care what people think.

I want people to enjoy what I’m writing about as well as really start thinking about issues that are brought up in these posts. I forget that it’s not all about how many views you have or how many likes you have just because the numbers make me feel validated. It makes me feel like I’m doing something useful in this world when I see a lot of people liking my posts.

Here’s the thing. I’m not doing this for the numbers. That wasn’t my original goal. I’m doing this to talk about things that hadn’t been talked about. And that includes censoring myself for no reason. That includes most of us censoring ourselves because we think someone might not like us or might criticize us.

Why do we worry so much about this? Yes, we should be discerning and tactful in what we say but at the same time, why are we so worried that someone is immediately going to dislike us because we say what is on our minds? Most likely than not, that person is worrying about what he/she will say rather than what you’re going to say.

We all want to be liked, accepted. There are people that will come into your life and will like you and there are people that will not. This happens to everyone. So maybe we should just be confident in what we are trying to say and say it. We know that our intentions are not bad. If someone takes something the wrong way, they can discuss with you and listen to what you actually meant or they can dislike you for it and walk out of your life. At the end of the day, if someone does not like you for something you said (true or not), it is their problem. As long as you are not intentionally being rude or mean, saying what you’re thinking should not be a huge deal. You are allowed to express yourself.

I have learned over the years that if you worry too much about what you say, things get left unsaid. Sometimes, everyone is thinking it and no one wants to say it. Sometimes, it’s that one thought that crosses one mind that can solve a problem or help someone. Sometimes, it might be that one thing that gets said that prevents a bigger problem from happening. I don’t want to make this sound like you’re saving the world by saying what you’re thinking but I still want you to believe that it might. And it might. All of the great people who have fought for freedom or for change are people who didn’t care what others thought and said what needed to be said.

So believe in yourself. Believe in what you have to say. Believe that your words count.