I like to watch people. I especially like to watch people and analyze them. One of the most fascinating things to see is how people react to other people. Especially when they are seeking attention.
Everyone needs attention. But to what extremes do people go to try to get this attention? I have to admit, I do it too. I want the body, the face, the great clothes, the killer heels. I want people to see me and want to be around me or be jealous that they aren’t me.
Then, reality hits me and I realize that I am not always going to get all of the attention in the world. I also realize that that attention is superficial and temporary. I want friends who will be there when I need to cry (and I’ve needed to in the past, present, and probably will in the future). I want people to know who I am as a person especially when I forget who I am sometimes.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t dress to the best of my ability or I don’t try to come off as the funny, smart, gorgeous, popular girl when I meet strangers. It just means that sometimes, it’s easier to just realize that I am who I am and all I can do is be the best person I am. Sometimes, I do demand attention. Sometimes, I sit back and watch others demand it instead. And honestly, sometimes, I just want to be in my pajamas with flip flops and no makeup on. It’s just so much more comfortable.
It’s a pretty simple answer really in terms of why we fight for this. Validation. We want proof that we exist in this world and that we are someone that others want to be around. This isn’t specifically for guys trying to get attention from girls and vice versa. This is even within our own gender (maybe even especially within our own gender). I want to know that I’m not invisible, that I matter.
Does this mean the more I demand attention, the more insecure I am? Possibly. I’m not a licensed therapist or psychologist so I couldn’t say for sure. But it does make me wonder about the people I see that demand attention all the time. Why do they need it? Where aren’t they getting it? What do they think about themselves that makes them feel like if they aren’t in the center of everyone’s world, they are nowhere?
I wonder if we could really and truly be happy for someone else when they have success and therefore, the attention. Does that come with a certain amount of self-confidence? Or is not just not possible since we are all human and all selfish to a certain degree? I’ll be honest with you. I’ve definitely gotten jealous when others seem to get the attention I want. I sit there and analyze why I’m not the one receiving it. Is it the way I look? Is it what I’m doing? Why am I not worthy of this attention?
It would be interesting to see how insecurity correlates with an attention seeker. Maybe the key is to address the insecurities we and see if that can help to make us better as people. Thoughts?
2 thoughts on “Look at Me! Look at Me!”
First off, I think its amazing that you’ve taken this new step towards opening up this platform where people can share beliefs, opinions, and in turn learn to accept ourselves….and now going into your recent post, I personally feel that majority of the society gives most of their attention to beauty and popularity first…hence, most people from a young age(including me) become hard wired to believe that beauty and popularity are key to becoming worthy of value…and we start to dim the light of our personality and who we are, our sense of humanity gets lost in all of this because we’re trying to be somebody we’re not and we no longer know who we are…we are constantly seeking something that’s temporary….validation…like you said, we seek to know that we matter in the eyes of others…but the truth is none of that is within our control….the only thing in our control is our happiness….so why not control that…why not figure out how to make ourselves happy without relying on someone outside of yourself…we all know nothing in this world is everlasting…everything comes and goes…fame, beauty, even the people we surround ourselves with….the only thing we have control over is ourselves…we can either learn to love ourselves or constantly oscillate between elation and despair based on the society’s opinion of us of which we don’t have control …am jumping between topics here…but in regards to truly being happy for someone else’s success… I think this goes back to two things for me…firstly, being content with myself and not comparing myself to others brings me to a state in which I can be happy for others for just the way they are and any success they have achieved…many times the opposite party, might get their ego inflated because of our genuine happiness for them….but it’s a true test to our being, if we can remain unaffected by it because we know that that makes us no less than who we believe we are…and secondly, it helps me to think of the children we once were..egoless, free of judgments, free of the mind and its thoughts…and that kind of brings back to me back to my authentic self…which makes me realize that every action I choose should be from the heart, not from the mind and everything that comes with it…in conclusion, I would like to say am not a perfection of any of these beliefs I hold either…my challenge is to make this into my reality and every day is a step towards it
Shailee, I love that you have started a blog and I am looking forward to reading the next posts! Regarding this post, I guess that saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” holds true, especially when comparing our lives to others. I feel like we’ve been conditioned from the moment we’re born to be competitive…leading us to compare ourselves to others anyway. We begin to hold ourselves to standards that are often unrealistic because we compare ourselves to so many people- our friends, our co-workers and even acquaintances. We begin to belittle our own accomplishments, physical attributes and the things that make us unique and successful. Validation can only come from ourselves…like you said, being comfortable with who we are and not looking at our lives though the eyes of society but recognizing that we have our own path. I think it’s a conscious effort we have to make- to recognize how we’re feeling (i.e. jealous), address it then consciously put that feeling away. Hopefully, with time, it becomes habitual