Tag: insecurities

Change How It Is

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Are you the best person you can be? I’m not. I’m not nice to everyone, I don’t respect everyone, and I probably don’t even like everyone. What is it with us? Why is it so hard for us to appreciate the differences that everyone has and celebrate them instead of judging them and putting them down? 

I don’t know what the root cause of this is. Is it so that we feel better if we put someone else down? I’m sure there is a pattern to be found in who you treat how and why. I know that we don’t always click with everyone so it’s hard to build a relationship with them but that doesn’t give us the right to talk badly about them. 

I know a lot of us gossip. We talk about people we don’t like behind their backs. I don’t think we do this with the same nature as if it was our friends. We give our friends more credit. We try to understand them. We allow for their mistakes. But we don’t do this for everyone in general. Most people do deserve better than what we give them. Most people are just people and things happen and there is usually a reason behind it. 

It’s the lack of appreciation for differences and the insecurities we have about ourselves that really cause a breakdown in communities. Think how amazing the world would be if there was more trust, more understanding, less selfishness. Isn’t that why we even get into a relationship? To share those things with someone else? So is it completely impossible to have this attitude towards the general public? I’m sure most of us have had some bad experiences in the past which definitely give support to not trusting everyone but are we able to let this go and really just focus on the good things that make us better as people? 

I want to be able to see the world as a good place and the people in it as the positive force. It’s time to change my view. 

Look at Me! Look at Me!

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I like to watch people. I especially like to watch people and analyze them. One of the most fascinating things to see is how people react to other people. Especially when they are seeking attention.

Everyone needs attention. But to what extremes do people go to try to get this attention? I have to admit, I do it too. I want the body, the face, the great clothes, the killer heels. I want people to see me and want to be around me or be jealous that they aren’t me.

Then, reality hits me and I realize that I am not always going to get all of the attention in the world. I also realize that that attention is superficial and temporary. I want friends who will be there when I need to cry (and I’ve needed to in the past, present, and probably will in the future). I want people to know who I am as a person especially when I forget who I am sometimes.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t dress to the best of my ability or I don’t try to come off as the funny, smart, gorgeous, popular girl when I meet strangers. It just means that sometimes, it’s easier to just realize that I am who I am and all I can do is be the best person I am. Sometimes, I do demand attention. Sometimes, I sit back and watch others demand it instead. And honestly, sometimes, I just want to be in my pajamas with flip flops and no makeup on. It’s just so much more comfortable.

It’s a pretty simple answer really in terms of why we fight for this. Validation. We want proof that we exist in this world and that we are someone that others want to be around. This isn’t specifically for guys trying to get attention from girls and vice versa. This is even within our own gender (maybe even especially within our own gender). I want to know that I’m not invisible, that I matter.

Does this mean the more I demand attention, the more insecure I am? Possibly. I’m not a licensed therapist or psychologist so I couldn’t say for sure. But it does make me wonder about the people I see that demand attention all the time. Why do they need it? Where aren’t they getting it? What do they think about themselves that makes them feel like if they aren’t in the center of everyone’s world, they are nowhere?

I wonder if we could really and truly be happy for someone else when they have success and therefore, the attention. Does that come with a certain amount of self-confidence? Or is not just not possible since we are all human and all selfish to a certain degree? I’ll be honest with you. I’ve definitely gotten jealous when others seem to get the attention I want. I sit there and analyze why I’m not the one receiving it. Is it the way I look? Is it what I’m doing? Why am I not worthy of this attention?

It would be interesting to see how insecurity correlates with an attention seeker. Maybe the key is to address the insecurities we and see if that can help to make us better as people. Thoughts?