Tag: present

Are They Really Happy?

Leave a comment

So I was watching this wedding video the other day and as I watched, I noticed that not at any point did the bride and groom look at each other and smile or interact. The first time they even looked like they were married to each other was during their slow dance at the reception. And then it ended. 

What’s the deal, man? Is it possible that a couple is so shy that they just don’t interact at all? Is it just me or does it seem somewhat off to you that the couple doesn’t even acknowledge each other’s presence on what is considered to be one of the more important days of their lives? Where do you even see that there is love present in this relationship? 

When I say this, I honestly mean the little moments. The one where the first time the bride comes into the room, the groom smiles or his eyes light up. The one where you can see one of them talking to the other about whatever is going on in their day. The one where you can see some inside joke or thought pass between them. 

Are we supposed to act distant and proper when we’re getting married? Because if that’s the case, I totally messed it up. 

It always makes me wonder if the couple was more interested in becoming an official couple rather than spending their lives with someone they really love. I don’t want to judge a couple that I don’t really know. I know it’s possible that this is their dynamic. Maybe it’s what makes them happy. I see couples that don’t spend that much time together in general. I wouldn’t think that was a happy relationship on both ends but then again, I want more than to just be a wife in name and in duty. 

I guess it’s all a matter of perspective. 

If anyone can explain this situation to me, I’d like to learn and understand why certain couples look like they’d rather be anywhere but with each other. Or that they are indifferent to being next to their significant other. Because I still don’t understand it. 

Looking forward to your thoughts. 

Be Present In The Present

Leave a comment

I turned 38 this past week. It’s not a huge milestone but 37 was a little bit rough on me so I’m glad to have this chance for things to move forward. I’m hoping that I can do a completely reset so that I have a chance to enjoy everything I have and not keeping worrying about the things that aren’t in my control.

It’s so hard not to look into the future and just be in the present. Anxiety, stress, panic attacks. These are all things that affect the way we live and contribute to our overall health and well-being. As soon as I take care of one task, my mind starts worrying about the next thing that needs to be done. There’s never a moment off, a moment to relax.

It’s my fault. I put this on myself even when I don’t need to. How do people manage stress in their daily lives? How do you not let the every day affect you in a negative way? How do you find a way to trust that everything will always work out?

There are people in this world that seem to always be able to go with the flow. They are able to quiet their minds and breathe and be here. They seem to find beauty in everything around us. They seem to be able to not stress or worry about the things that are currently happening elsewhere.

I think a part of the problem is that we are always looking at our phones and trying to see what is going on everywhere else. I think that we have started to do it so automatically that we don’t even notice that we are doing it anymore. It might be time to put my screen down and force myself to be in the moment. It might be time to not have to rely on my screen for entertainment. It might be time to be able to look up and really see what is happening in the world around us.

I think it takes an active effort to stop looking towards the future and really try to find the things here and now that bring us joy. Find the things that really make us feel good here. Find the things that inspire you to bring out the best you.

The Past and Its Results: Our Present

Leave a comment

I started reading the autobiography that my grandfather has written about his life. I’ve barely gotten to the part where he is in medical school so I definitely have a lot more left to go considering that he is 92 years old. 

I’m so amazed at what his life so far has been like. To live through all sorts of history that I’ve only heard about. And even so, growing up here in America, not really heard about as well. He survived a bombing in Rangoon, Burma (now Yangon, Myanmar) during World War II when the Japanese invaded and had to go back to India even though he had spent a lot of his childhood in Rangoon. His father actually had to walk back to India because there was no other modes of transportation that were working due to the air raids by Japan. 

I haven’t even gotten to the part where India becomes an independent country yet. I’m curious because I do know my grandparents did meet Mahatma Gandhi so I really wonder what their story is. I don’t know if they will be far-removed from everything or if they were right in the middle of what was going on. 

Last week, I wrote a post about how many parents left the country they grew up in and found themselves in a new country only for the opportunities available to them at the time. Today, I’m reading about this history that my grandfather has gone through. I’m now waiting to hopefully read about the history that my father-in-law has lived through being a member of the Indian army. 

This is what our ancestors have gone through to get to where we are today. Our problems don’t really seem as complex or terrifying as what our families have been through in the past. In fact, on the other hand, it seems like they have gone through their struggles without complaining or feeling sorry for themselves. 

It definitely puts into perspective what we go through on a daily basis. Most of us are extremely lucky wherever we are because we don’t have this struggle of survival. We have the right and the opportunity to choose what we want out of life. I’ve been reading a lot of history in general lately and it seems as though this right to make our own choices has been something most cultures have struggled with for centuries before it was given. I think some cultures are still going through this struggle now. 

Time changes things. It has happened before and it will continue to happen. Eventually, we will all have our effect on the world somehow. I think our generation will change the world in terms of social consciousness, communication, and technology. It will be a different type of change.

I look forward to contributing to it. 

Do You Want to be Realistic or Do You Want to Dream?

2 Comments

I want to dream. I wish I could get my mind to dream more than be overly logical like it is prone to do. I honestly do believe that people with big dreams make things happen in this world. 

We all dreamed more when we were younger. So what happened to that? When we were younger, we had vivid, crazy, imaginative dreams that never seemed unrealistic. We were not limited by anything. And now, at our current ages, we have learned to live in reality. 

I was trying to figure out the difference between myself at the age of 16 and now and honestly, it’s that I’ve stopped dreaming. It’s not that I don’t want more for myself. I just don’t daydream about things like I used to. It’s probably because I can send myself into reality too easily and can find ways to counteract the dream practically. 

I don’t want to do that. I want to let my imagination run wild and really use it to find what I want in life. I want to feel that feeling of achievement again. I have before and it was great. But once you have achieved your dreams, you have to find new dreams. That’s the difficult part. Most of us dreamed about our lives now when we were 16. What happens when you reach your 30s and those dreams have been realized? 

Half the fun of having a dream is actually just imagining what it will be like to get there. That’s what motivates you. That’s what keeps you moving forward every day. It’s important to have ever evolving dreams so that you can continue to progress in life. 

We should definitely enjoy our present. But we should also be able to dream about our future without any restrictions. So how do we get back to that phase in our lives where we can dream unconditionally? 

Sometimes, It Is What It Is

Leave a comment

Have you ever noticed when you don’t have such a good day that you start to wonder what happened? Sometimes, things don’t go well or you have a bad experience or sometimes, it’s just plain boredom that will drive you crazy. 

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was “You are exactly where you are supposed to be”. This statement reminds me that when I’m struggling with something that there is probably a reason for it. I can usually figure out the reason in hindsight but at the moment, in the moment, I can’t see it at all. Remembering this statement allows me hold onto the idea that at some point, I’ll understand why I’m going through what I’m going through. 

I have these friends who are amazingly strong. They have families, full time jobs, health issues, new businesses, moves, the courage to stand up for themselves, and so much more. I watch them go through struggles where it’s not clear why they have to deal with what they are dealing with. Sometimes, it’s not about dealing with the present. It’s about seeing how it shapes your future. And sometimes, that one step you took to do something or to change something will create the present for you. I see the results their actions bring and it’s amazing how their tenacity has gotten them there. 

Eventually, everything makes sense. Look for one good thing in your present. There is probably a single point that you can trace that back to. And every experience you have had along the way contributed to that good thing. So when things happen and they don’t make sense, just know that this is what it is for right now. Live this moment as today and know it has a bigger purpose. Believe that someday that you will understand the path that has taken you where you will be in the future.