So when you go out to a social event, do you see the people that you never talk to other than at that type of event? Do you go up to them, say hi, make small talk, only to go home and not talk to them again until the next social event? My question is why. I’m wondering why people make that effort if we, in reality, are not impressed or don’t make a connection to the person we are talking to. If no further effort is going to be made, then why spend any time at all bothering to say hi? I’m not talking about the people who you potentially might start a friendship with. I’m talking about those people who have met you again and again and again and nothing changes.
Or is this just a step in the social ladder?
What about those people you just don’t like? There doesn’t have to be a specific reason but sometimes, there are people that have some sort of personality difference that you don’t get along with. Do we have to pretend to like them?
I can’t. I just can’t fake it. I don’t have the energy to pretend to be nice to someone I don’t respect or don’t like. Usually, when this happens, it’s after a few opportunities to try to at least be civil acquaintances. If that effort doesn’t work, then I usually end up ignoring the person or just saying a quick hi and not bothering with the small talk. I don’t try to be rude.
Does this make me a bad person or just honest? At least, people will know where they stand with me. What would you do?
You are not a bad person regardless of whether you make small talk or not. You are honest. BUT I do feel that you could/should consider a different perspective, in my opinion, of course.
I usually say hi and make a little bit of small talk with everyone whether it is the first time or hundredth time.
I have become close friends with people that I only said hi or made small talk with for years, after only one event. All it takes is a fun evening or at times, a bad event, to make people bond over other topics or at the bar, or both.
And after years of being close, I am just an acquaintance, if that, with many people who were my closest friends.
Just remember that the world is round and constantly changing. If you give up on something today, it may give up on you tomorrow. (cheesy and corny…i know…but still true)
There are people I didn’t always agree with, that I now am friends with, because either they have changed or i have changed, or both.
And every person at most of these events has the potential to become a friend and every friend at this event has the potential to eventually become an acquaintance or less.
Also, I learn interesting things (not gossip) via small talk so I approach it from an informative point of view. Small talk at an event convinced me to finally look into getting a prius. TRUE STORY.
Keep up the writing.
-R