A few days ago, I heard from someone who I hadn’t talked to in 5 years. The last conversation we had wasn’t a good one and I never expected to hear from her again. Then, all of a sudden, I received a message, wishing me a happy birthday and congratulating me on my new kid. I was in shock and I couldn’t respond for a couple of days because I needed to process. It’s interesting when that does happen. It was a really nice message and I was glad to hear from that person.
When a relationship of any type ends, there is usually a reason for it. I know, in this case, I had hurt the person pretty badly and I didn’t know if she would ever understand the reason behind it. It took a lot for her to message me just to say as much as she did and I really respect her for it. It makes me think that maybe she finally understood why the relationship ended.
I’ve been through this before. Just like most people, I have had falling outs with different people throughout my life, whether it was a friend or a relationship. And, in my experience, one of the two people involved, if not both, will eventually come back and show that they have put the past behind them. There have been times when we walk away from something that is not good for us personally and hope that one day, the person involved will understand the reasons we move on.
But, when we do finally hear from whomever we have had the problems with, it still comes as a shock. We don’t expect to hear an apology, let alone good wishes from someone who we have ended on bad terms with.
I hope that, one day, every relationship of mine that had ended badly does eventually resolve itself. I hope that we can find a way to move past our past and maybe that will lead us to making sure our current and future relationships are good. It takes a big person to be able to walk forward and I still see people who hold onto the bad even though they have a chance to move towards the good. There are people that refuse to accept an apology or find ways to see the other side’s point of view, regardless of who was right or wrong. I don’t want to be one of those people.
I’m not saying that everyone deserves a second chance but usually, in these types of situations, it doesn’t hurt to at least try.
Sometimes, we just need our past to return to show us where we used to be and where we are now.
Who We Are Today 
I agree with moving past our past.
While not easy, it is very much possible but as you stated, it depends on the person. A very wise man once told me that “there are people who will work things out with you and there are people who will work themselves out”.
I’ve been in a similar situation where a relationship with a friend I value dearly was almost ruined by a 3rd person who caused a ridiculous misunderstanding for absolutely no reason. It caused a rift where my friend was not able to initially move past it despite my attempt to explain and clear things up.
However, I never gave up because I always valued my friend way too much and thankfully somewhere deep inside to did my friend. We met, we talked, we cleared it up, and while we may not be the same, we have a mutual respect and care for each other.
I credit both of us to get past our past, my friend for listening and believing, and myself for not letting ego get in the way of making an effort to clarify.
Glad that you are writing again.
-R