Tag: view

When Our Past Returns

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A few days ago, I heard from someone who I hadn’t talked to in 5 years. The last conversation we had wasn’t a good one and I never expected to hear from her again. Then, all of a sudden, I received a message, wishing me a happy birthday and congratulating me on my new kid. I was in shock and I couldn’t respond for a couple of days because I needed to process. It’s interesting when that does happen. It was a really nice message and I was glad to hear from that person. 

When a relationship of any type ends, there is usually a reason for it. I know, in this case, I had hurt the person pretty badly and I didn’t know if she would ever understand the reason behind it. It took a lot for her to message me just to say as much as she did and I really respect her for it. It makes me think that maybe she finally understood why the relationship ended. 

I’ve been through this before. Just like most people, I have had falling outs with different people throughout my life, whether it was a friend or a relationship. And, in my experience, one of the two people involved, if not both, will eventually come back and show that they have put the past behind them. There have been times when we walk away from something that is not good for us personally and hope that one day, the person involved will understand the reasons we move on. 

But, when we do finally hear from whomever we have had the problems with, it still comes as a shock. We don’t expect to hear an apology, let alone good wishes from someone who we have ended on bad terms with. 

I hope that, one day, every relationship of mine that had ended badly does eventually resolve itself. I hope that we can find a way to move past our past and maybe that will lead us to making sure our current and future relationships are good. It takes a big person to be able to walk forward and I still see people who hold onto the bad even though they have a chance to move towards the good. There are people that refuse to accept an apology or find ways to see the other side’s point of view, regardless of who was right or wrong. I don’t want to be one of those people. 

I’m not saying that everyone deserves a second chance but usually, in these types of situations, it doesn’t hurt to at least try.

Sometimes, we just need our past to return to show us where we used to be and where we are now. 

Change How It Is

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Are you the best person you can be? I’m not. I’m not nice to everyone, I don’t respect everyone, and I probably don’t even like everyone. What is it with us? Why is it so hard for us to appreciate the differences that everyone has and celebrate them instead of judging them and putting them down? 

I don’t know what the root cause of this is. Is it so that we feel better if we put someone else down? I’m sure there is a pattern to be found in who you treat how and why. I know that we don’t always click with everyone so it’s hard to build a relationship with them but that doesn’t give us the right to talk badly about them. 

I know a lot of us gossip. We talk about people we don’t like behind their backs. I don’t think we do this with the same nature as if it was our friends. We give our friends more credit. We try to understand them. We allow for their mistakes. But we don’t do this for everyone in general. Most people do deserve better than what we give them. Most people are just people and things happen and there is usually a reason behind it. 

It’s the lack of appreciation for differences and the insecurities we have about ourselves that really cause a breakdown in communities. Think how amazing the world would be if there was more trust, more understanding, less selfishness. Isn’t that why we even get into a relationship? To share those things with someone else? So is it completely impossible to have this attitude towards the general public? I’m sure most of us have had some bad experiences in the past which definitely give support to not trusting everyone but are we able to let this go and really just focus on the good things that make us better as people? 

I want to be able to see the world as a good place and the people in it as the positive force. It’s time to change my view. 

I Don’t Recognize This Place

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There are days when I can look at old pictures from Facebook and wonder about how people I know got from where they were to where they are now. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have recognized who I am now even 5 years ago. Maybe I would have but maybe my life is so completely different that people I knew then wouldn’t understand me now. I see pictures of friends and really do wonder if I would have even liked them back 5-10 years ago or if it’s who they are now that I really like. 

You know what else I find interesting? It’s when I see people who haven’t changed at all. Most of the people I am friends with now are in their late 20s to their early 30s. I’d like to think most of us have grown up and moved on from those crazy party days. There were days I could go through a weekend going out, having dance practices, and minimal sleep for about 3 days in a row. The thought of that now makes me nauseous from a purely “I can’t handle that anymore” point of view. But there are people who are still doing it. And that’s fine in the sense that that’s what they want to do in their life at this point. More power to them. I just know that after one crazy night, I’m in recovery mode for like a week. 

Have you ever thought back and can pinpoint that one decision that changed the way your life path was going? It’s hard to recognize the life changing ones when you make them (most of the time) until a while later when you look back and realized how you got to the place you are at now. There are friendships that have changed or careers that are not what you started with. 

When I was younger and I couldn’t always keep up with the people partying, I used to look at myself and try to figure out what was wrong with me or how come I am not cooler. I finally got to a point where I can accept some of those for what they are and I’m okay that I don’t always match up to everyone else. I still see those people around and I am okay with the place that I am in my life now even though it might look less exciting than other people’s lives. The harder part for me even now is when I know I’m on the life path working toward something without knowing what and just trusting that one day I’ll understand. Experience has taught me that I will understand someday but I can definitely feel that I’m working my way towards something somewhere. I’m in change mode again but not sure where that will lead. 

Life is an interesting path. One day, I hope to be able to write it all down or do a photo journal and look proudly over what I’ve accomplished and remember all the experiences.