I Don’t Recognize This Place

There are days when I can look at old pictures from Facebook and wonder about how people I know got from where they were to where they are now. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have recognized who I am now even 5 years ago. Maybe I would have but maybe my life is so completely different that people I knew then wouldn’t understand me now. I see pictures of friends and really do wonder if I would have even liked them back 5-10 years ago or if it’s who they are now that I really like. 

You know what else I find interesting? It’s when I see people who haven’t changed at all. Most of the people I am friends with now are in their late 20s to their early 30s. I’d like to think most of us have grown up and moved on from those crazy party days. There were days I could go through a weekend going out, having dance practices, and minimal sleep for about 3 days in a row. The thought of that now makes me nauseous from a purely “I can’t handle that anymore” point of view. But there are people who are still doing it. And that’s fine in the sense that that’s what they want to do in their life at this point. More power to them. I just know that after one crazy night, I’m in recovery mode for like a week. 

Have you ever thought back and can pinpoint that one decision that changed the way your life path was going? It’s hard to recognize the life changing ones when you make them (most of the time) until a while later when you look back and realized how you got to the place you are at now. There are friendships that have changed or careers that are not what you started with. 

When I was younger and I couldn’t always keep up with the people partying, I used to look at myself and try to figure out what was wrong with me or how come I am not cooler. I finally got to a point where I can accept some of those for what they are and I’m okay that I don’t always match up to everyone else. I still see those people around and I am okay with the place that I am in my life now even though it might look less exciting than other people’s lives. The harder part for me even now is when I know I’m on the life path working toward something without knowing what and just trusting that one day I’ll understand. Experience has taught me that I will understand someday but I can definitely feel that I’m working my way towards something somewhere. I’m in change mode again but not sure where that will lead. 

Life is an interesting path. One day, I hope to be able to write it all down or do a photo journal and look proudly over what I’ve accomplished and remember all the experiences. 

One thought on “I Don’t Recognize This Place

  1. RS says:

    Very well written. It takes me at 2 days to recover from one night of partying so a whole weekend usually physically destroys my week.

    However, what I really find interesting is that I can no longer try to evaluate people in different times. I find it very difficult and quite frankly, a waste of energy! My own life changes so much and so often, how could I possibly determine anything about other people?

    For example:
    Slightly over 10-11 years ago, I became friends with an amazing person who has had an immeasurable impact on my life in the best of ways in every moment. Yet, when I reflect back, I only remember short pockets of time where we could say that we were truly and very close. When we first met, her life was changing at a faster pace at the time than mine. Later on, both of our lives were changing at a faster pace, and at times, going in different directions.

    What amazes me is that after all this time, and with all the things we have been through, both together and separately, life has always kept us around each other, one way or another. So whether I made her smile 10 years ago, made her cry 2 years ago, or celebrated her wedding 4 months ago, all I know is that her mere presence has brought nothing but good in my life whether it happened right away or not, and I have tried my best to do the same for her.

    Sorry if my response is off-topic. Also, feel free to remove it if its too long or inappropriate.

    Keep writing.

    Enjoying the read.

    -R

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