What’s Your First Reaction? Good Or Bad?

Yesterday, I bought something that I thought a few other people I know might enjoy. When I asked them about it, the first response I received was the fact that what I had bought wasn’t the best and it could have been better.

It was discouraging. When I discussed the reaction with a friend, he mentioned that it wasn’t the first time he had heard a negative reaction coming from an Indian person.

The reaction brought up the question of why so many Indian people do have an automatic negative reaction when you tell them something.

Obviously, not everyone is like this. I know a few people that are amazingly positive. However, I am aware that even I do this to. When someone tells me about something good, my first thought is literally a “But…” statement. Why do I even respond this way? If someone tells me something good, shouldn’t my first reaction be a positive one?

Is it an Indian thing? Are we built to always be bringing others down a notch? Why? Is it insecurity? Do we feel insecure that something good happened to someone else? Do we feel as thought we aren’t up to some standard that we have set for ourselves? Are we comparing ourselves against the person who told us the good news? Is everything a competition?

It really sucks when someone has a negative reaction to you when you achieve something good or thought of something nice to do for someone else. It makes us feel as though it’s not worth doing or not worth sharing. As a community, shouldn’t we be supporting each other? Won’t we achieve more together than separate?

It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize that you do this. But I think if you do see this pattern in your thoughts and reactions, there is a chance that we can correct this aspect of ourselves.

I am going to try to be more positive towards others. Why not? I have nothing to lose other than my negativity.

4 thoughts on “What’s Your First Reaction? Good Or Bad?

  1. AshleyTriesIt says:

    It’s interesting to read this. I’ve never been very close friends with an Indian person, so I’ve not been privy to the inner circle that might be Indiana culture. However, I’ve found that in business and casual social interaction that Indian people have always been overwhelmingly kind and mostly positive (obviously it’s a generalization, because people are simply different).
    This interaction for you though definitely seems like a welcomed wake up call to be more conscious of the way you act. Positivity is never a bad outcome.

    • Shailee Butalia says:

      I know I’m definitely generalizing through my experiences as an Indian dealing with Indians. I also know that there are a lot of people who don’t fit the generalization. Hopefully, as a group, we do become a more positive community.

      Thank you for reading!

  2. Roshni says:

    I’m not sure! I guess you are generalizing a bit but I’m glad the outcome is that you are making note of it in your own behaviour. After all, that is the only behaviour that we can really control! 🙂

    • Shailee Butalia says:

      Roshni, I’m definitely generalizing. I know there are definitely a lot of people who don’t fit the generalization. It just made me realize that regardless of whatever others do, my own reactions are ones that should remain positive.

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