Recently, I’ve been wanting recognition for all of the things I do. But I don’t want to advertise that I do them. I just want people to quietly recognize that I’m good at a lot of things. Why? Because as a South Asian Indian woman (and possible just as a woman in general), I’ve been taught that I don’t brag about my achievements. If it’s worth being noticed, people will notice you. However, in a world as chaotic as ours, is that even possible if we don’t advocate for ourselves?

I was out with some girlfriends yesterday for happy hour and talking about how I was feeling. One of them clearly stated that I need to put myself out there and tell them about the cool things I’ve been participating in. My obvious reaction was “Brag about myself?! I couldn’t do that!”

But why not? Another friend of ours told us that her sister wrote this LinkedIn Post that spoke to something very similar.

We see so many people absolutely do this. They post positive things about what’s happening in their lives without abandon. So why are there some of us that will only accept quiet recognition? Why can’t we also shout about our achievements?

When I think about doing this, I feel shame that I’m going to be bragging about what I do, what I’ve accomplished. Like I’m doing something wrong in speaking up for myself or like I’m showing off. It goes all the training I’ve had. I’m not supposed to talk about myself. I’m supposed to quietly do my work and be happy internally. I’m not supposed to want any external validation or share any of my accomplishments. If I do so, I’m a loud, braggy woman. I’m overconfident and talking about myself too much.

So where does that get us? It creates internal resentment that no one notices that I achieve so much. It creates a battle within me of wanting to share but not come off as boastful. It makes me feel invisible. How are people supposed to see me if I keep hiding?

The irony is that my friends yesterday clearly said that they would be proud of the things I shared because they support my endeavors. So I think I’m going to start sharing more.

Because…..why the hell not?